The Lesson of Life

Life is about summarizing all of the good feelings and the highlights

Thinking about those who have built up your spirit and gave you joy

Reminiscing about great birthdays, holidays and life’s many first

Examining life in totality and focusing only on your best never the worst

No one remembers all of the “big emergencies” that occurred and work

Or the person that you set your eyes on who didn’t care the same for you

All the frustration spent on unrequited love, fades away with true love

And earthly drama is forgotten when you transcend to the heavens above

So instead of fighting to keep a person, job, home, or thing in your life

Become comfortable with less; thrive by depending on only necessities

Downsize material things in order to embrace authenticity and peace

In life we never can keep anything, all possessions are really on lease  

The power of perception: "I am free to be me"

What if you accepted that there are no bad days, just opportunities to grow

Times where you may have to humble yourself enough to ask & accept help

A chance to expand your dreams and question the things you think you know

An appointed time to cherish your love ones and strengthen emotional bonds

Setbacks don’t exist, its just God proactively fixing your crooked way

Once you see your destiny, he won’t allow you to settle for a poor reality

We have been trained to wish for tomorrow, ignoring the sadness of today

It is easier for people to take the path of least resistance; then live in truth

The secret of happiness is not making right decisions, it’s your perception

Your ability to focus on the brightside of things, staying an eternal optimist

When people lie to you, celebrate that now you know the signs deception

If people leave you suddenly, rejoice that there is now more space for love

As you look at your own life you have to use this same type of mirror

Seeing the sum total of your experiences greater than the individual parts

Always embracing each experience as a lesson never an unfixable error

Change your perception and you free your mind to accept all possibilities

The possibility that life can be wonderful and you can totally be yourself

Begin to see yourself as an example of truth, and you walk into success

Walk out of your Comfort Zone into your Destiny

We all have our comfort zone

Actions that make us who we are

Some enhance our spiritual health

Others can erase our internal glow

But you don’t know what is right

Until you step away from it all

Ask yourself if you are happy

And overall content with your life

You must also look at decisions

As you ponder all your actions

Address fundamental beliefs

In order to decipher the reasons

It’s hard to label actions constructive

When your comfort zone protects

When routine stifles joy and growth

Your patterns become destructive

I am learning to keep the core

But conquering the fear of change

Loving my past and present self

As I prepare my life for more

Who Am I...Better Yet Whose Am I

Who Am I…hmm that question is not that important or key

The question is Whose Am I since that means more to me

Without the foundation of knowing I was created for more

I don’t think I would try b/c I wouldn’t believe I could soar

When I was created there was a passion placed in my heart

I have known that I am creative and an author from the start

When I tried to run from my calling the dream was still there

I felt a burden in my soul, an intense feeling I could barely bear

Passion and peace came only when I finally surrendered

And realized that a purpose filled life is full of joy and splendor

And now when I analyze life's key question of “Who Am I”
I can be honest with myself and no longer feel the need to lie

The rat race can never compare to living the life God created

Doing anything but creative writing feels stale and outdated

So now when things happen I feel comfortable with my response

Because i am centered and committed to my creative Renaissance  

My name and My life

My life is just as unique, different and special as my name

You may meet another JT, but we will not be the same

For I was raised to be a survivor, to preserve and succeed

A favor filled no excuse approach is usually how I try to lead

Sometimes I may fall short and loose my direction and sight

But even when I do, I work to remain optimistic with all my might

I have more than enough examples of how giants rose from sand

And because of that I keep an uplifting attitude of “Yes I can”

If I don’t believe in myself than whom will really believe in me

I must believe in all miracles especially those not visible to see

I have learned that your thoughts are the foundations for decisions

And from those choices you turn daydreams into manifested visions

So my message is not meant to preach another farfetched lesson

It meant to tell my story, so my life can be used as a blessing

The kind of friend

I am reminded daily that I have a good set of friends
The kind of friends that will sacrifice personal fun
The kind of friends that will stay up to wipe tears
The kinds of friends who encourage me despite fears

I am reminded at every birthday party, funeral or visit
That I didn't choose these people we chose each other
We share the same song, and move to the same beat
They remain #1 regardless of other people you meet

These friends share the right advice at the right time
Showering love and kindness with a bit of harshness
They push when needed and pull apart the fibers of lies
Always encourage me to succeed no matter what I try

They take up for me when I only see a list of my faults
They hold my hand when I face any health concern
The are the first to show up with hugs and last to leave
They know how to treat me b/c they know my pet peeves

Most importantly they are honest even if it may hurt
B/c they know that  truth expresses pure stability 
When you love someone you accept what they say
Real friends never leave, they are committed to stay

These are the kind of friends that can read your emotions
Even when you have not uttered one word or sound
They know your heart better than your closest lover
And know more secrets than your sister or mother

These kind of friends surpass the basic title of friend
For a bond like this can not be trivialized by a label
You have this kind of friend when you are never alone
Even if you have'nt  seen or talked recently on the phone

These kind of friends are carried closely in your heart
Housed in memories too grand to document in photos
Always praying that you see that inner light that glows
And that others see the great friend they know

Like I said I am blessed to have a sacrificial type of friend
Who nurtures my relationship like a well cared for plant
Waters the roots of our friendship with compassion and care
Never discolosing any of the secrets we often share

I don't know where I would be if they were not in my life
I'm not sure how I would have recovered from the setbacks
These friends have carried me when I could barely walk
They helped me think when I could barely think or talk

And as I sit here reflecting on the calm after the storm
I am reminded that they reassured me it would get better
I recall the dinners, calls, hugs, letters and borrowed books
The sweet notes, encouraging lunches yet hopeful looks

Hope because they have traveled down this road before
And now stand on the other side of accomplishment
And it makes you think that these friends are really angels
Sent by God to show his love and remind you that he is able

What I know for sure..Reflections of Love

I enjoy hearing about a true love story complete with chivalry, romance, and a endearing fairy tale
It restores my hearts dream to be swept away by a god fearing, masculine, and very witty male

What I know for sure is that I have been shown the true face of love in many different forms
I have witnessed how a man cherishs a woman, acts foreign to others, are my everyday norm

For example, I continue to listen to the many great stories my friends constantly share with me 
Whether it is nursing them back to health, cheering them up, i know this is the way love should be

I have no problem with being the chief nurturer, caregiver, lover and most importantly friend
But I want to be sure the love i give to him will be reciprocated in the love that he sends

What I know for sure is that it is my innate quality is to solve problems, to give, and always share
The only thing I want to be sure of is that when he thinks of me that he really does care

Cares how my day went, and if i am upset or disturbed works to try to put a smile on my face
Someone who prays, spiritual, is a believer in miracles, favor, forgiveness and Gods' Grace

Life is not about trials and errors, it is about trying new things in order to learn and evolve
Its about identifying hurdles in your path that you proactively analyze and work to solve

Its about using your time wisely which should never be used to lament or focus on the past
It’s about concentrating your time, talents and fortune on those special things that will last

In the face of uncertainty, mirage of unknowns and a sea of new opportunities and things
I want to discover my passions and identify those unique people that make my heart sing

I have seen glimpses of what I want forever to look like and I truly believe that I am ready to recieve it
I don't have an idea of the who, but I totally know what I want to feel when I finally recieve my gift

Every experience that I have lived through, survived, and conquered has stretched my ability to grow
And growth can not occur unless you let go of past decisions and people, these are the things that i know

Through all of my disappointments and heartaches I know that God is preparing an even bigger prize
He is pruning my character so I never again settle for the wooden nickels, unrealistic stories and lies

And through all of life's experience, the biggest blessing is that he never made my heart or hope waiver
When I receive the love of my life I will finally not doubt every moment, but sit back and savor

How to Change

Sometimes the biggest thing between what you have and want is change

Change in attitude, Change in your usage of time, and Change in behavior

They say it takes 21 days to adopt a new habit, routine, or a better way

To eat better, exercise, live with faith and watch the words you say

When you pray or speak to God, often times we lean down to kneel

Giving yourself to him, allowing God to control your mind and spirit

A physical example of relinquishing your power and giving it to the one 

The one who specializes in change regardless of what you have done

The decisions you wish you could correct and redo the experience

The people you have hurt through carelessness, selfishness or by accident

The time lost why you sabotaged happiness thinking you didn’t deserve it

The self criticism used to punish, the excessive drinks consumed to forget 

But there is a fairy tale that can be written at the end of your nightmare

There is a God who specializes in the change business and transformations

If you rely more on him and his blessings instead of what you have done

You can become the person God created; the changed resurrected one

The person that is an extension of authentic spirit, aura, essence and love

The person that is allowed to feel, express, live, apologize and move on

It may start with one phone call you never thought you could make

It may end with that trip or class you never thought that you could take

The miracle of life is that it is powerfully cyclical, not linear in nature  

So as much as we force ourselves to stick to an inflexible rigid mindset

Don’t; finally let all limitations and preconceived notions about life go 

You will see better opportunities once you let your internal energies flow

The inspirational and giving spirit that touches your heart creating fullness

The laughter that comes from a place of true joy, humor and humility

The energy that comes from nature that once nurtured creates self power

The dedication to fully blossom growing from a bud to a beautiful flower

Dreaming of change is no different than playing house or restless sleep

Role playing or meaningless actions never yield different results

Seeking change is not enough, Change plus action leads to fulfillment

Paralysis of Analysis is the biggest road to telling yourself you can’t

By the time you think through all of the possible ways you could fail

You ignore the potential of success, your self confidence shattered  

The moment could pass; the opportunity may not be available tomorrow

And then instead of peace you are filled with regrets, guilt and sorrow

So today I admit my faults however I am taking small steps to at least try

Confessing what I want and then turning my dreams into actionable tasks

Doing something even small is better than procrastinating or wishing I had

When I look at my life, I want to say I lived it, feel content and totally glad 

Process of Elimination

I didn't know what I was missing until I had the courage finally stop and walk away
Ignoring naysayers that keep talking even though they really have nothing to say

People will call me picky, too rigid, accusing me of having my head up in the sky
If people don't understand me thats fine, instead of convincing I will just say good by

I am an example of how the process of elimination restored my healthy and mind
Because it worked for my diet, why wouldn't I think a special man is possible to find

By listening to my gut, trusting my instinct and analyzing the lasting effects of food
I was able to heal my body, restore my energy, find my muse and improve my mood

Going gluten free gave me a zest for life and a passion to live a purposed driven life
I am selective about everything I put in my body; things may taste good but cause strife

I have learned that temporary satisfaction can lead to lasting pain, damage, and discomfort
And until you do a process of elimination you won't be able to identify those things that hurt

Slick Men that only warm you with compliments so they can receive instant gratification
Damaging processed foods that feel good going in, but lack to provide nutritional satisfaction

In order for me to understand the cause of my sickness, and unpredictable tummy
I had to log my food, document my feelings, and track when I felt really good or totally yucky

Just like I had to take the time to figure out the foods that I can not eat and those I can
I have decided to deploy that same process of elimination as I search to identify JT's man

I will think about past dates and how each man treated me and how they made me feel
I will log the lasting effects of all relationships to see if these men can really seal the deal

If they can't provide my heart, body and mind with complete fufillment and wholeness
They will be eliminated just like gluten; my tummy taught my heart to only accept the best

Love and Compatibility

Looks may attract you, Compatibility makes you want to stay
Love makes you work hard and also makes you not stray

I have loved a few but recognize we were not a real match
Dated them longer because others thought they were a catch

When people walk out your life it is okay to mourn a loss
But not okay to sit back and count you and all of their flaws

For it is not about what didn't work when they were with you
Realizing you didn't want them despite the things they do

In life, hopefully you will be blessed with a life you want to live
A man who deserves your all and is open to receive and give

Along with love you need compatibility and the magic IT factor
The thing that makes your toes curl and your emotions soar

You need the stars to be aligned and God to bless your union
To balance the work and committment, love has to be fun

A good marriage is defined as a man that is happy to come home
A man that would choose his wife and family over time spent alone 

Many times falling in love is not about the person that we date
Its about another's ability to love us and accept us in our current state

The person that is transforming but not yet the person we may grow to be
The person who works to become the image they want the masses to see

If you can love someone's purest essence in spite of the glitz and glam
They will know you love them; not their job, salary, credentials or fame

Compatibility is sitting on a park bench sharing thoughts and a snack
Appreciating who they are, and never concentrating on what they lack

Love is about committing your heart to the creation of somthing bigger
Beleiving your love WILL LAST despite the negative facts and figures

If you mix compatibility, respect, God's grace, beauty, forgivenss and trust
You will have your best friend, a lasting love,a marriage that makes you lust

The art of change

Don’t change because others have progressed and you have not

Don’t change because someone else requests you to be different

Don’t change because you want more money or desire fame

Change because your soul cries out and refuses to be the same

You know when a change is coming when your mind races

When you have more questions than you have answers

When ordinary seems to imprison the freedom of choice

And when the inner spirit screams louder than your voice

When this happens find comfort in your journey for truth

Don’t rush to identify with a new person, job, or behavior

Rather than identifying a solution, identify the cause of unrest

Work at being your honest self; forget trying to be the best

Books have been written to explain various success theories

Articles continue to portray pivotal moments of change

Real change can’t be taught, it is a personal discovery

As you seek emotional freedom from mental slavery 

The inherited slavery of expectations and others wishes

The personal bondage of fear of the unknown and failure

The oppression of childish acts, old images and roles

The repression of growth, dreams, hopes and goals

As you seek a personal change you must address beliefs

Generational values deeply rooted in all your decisions

You must ask yourself how you ended up in this place

And why making the best decision seemed too much to face

Time is irrelevant to this process, there is no set timeline

Change only begins when you come to a few conclusions

When your frustration outweighs the fear of the unknown

And when living with purpose is skill you finally begin to hone 

 

The myth of texting

Texting is not the issue; it’s when it replaces communication

Without emotion or voice inflection, words lack sensation

It doesn’t give you a context of one thoughts or true feelings

And minimizes the connection between two human beings

Texting is easy when you don’t have time or fear rejection

But when it becomes routine, you sacrifice real affection

The easy road when dating is never the path you want to take

Purposeful dating requires work; an investment I will MAKE

I never want to wonder if you are alone or in a crowded place

Or that you forgot about me and just sent me something in haste

I never want to feel like I can’t get your undivided attention

Or feel like you don’t treat me with respect or consideration

When I told you what I needed I never mentioned money

Emotional stability is a must, and you must be funny

But my main request is that I wanted us to really talk

Not so I can keep tabs on you or so I can later stalk

I want to hear your voice and establish a comfort zone

Seeing you in person is most ideal, but also over the phone

I won’t settle for a piece of a relationship, I want the entire pie

And I never want to feel like our romantic bond is a complete lie

The Power of Expectancy

You may not see the vision, but keep your dream
Reality maybe rough, but is never as bad as it seeems

Sometimes the only thing you may have is hope
And expectancy is truly the best way for you to cope

Because if you allow yourself to be showered by gloom
Your dreams and thoughts will always end in doom

I have learned that life is a magnet to attract like things
A dream job, more money even the ideal human being

To attract these things you must project authentic truth
And show the same courage, faith and love as Ruth

A women affected by loss but remained a loving friend
And received all of God's precious blessings in the end

A loving husband, rich harvest, wealth and a healthy son
Believing what God has planned in life is already done

Living with expectancy is rooted in the energy of success
Instead of wasting time on settling for a life that requires less

Wake up expecting that today will be better than yesterday
And when you think less, find an optimistic thing to say

We own our life, our choices, its outcome and our attitude
Expectancy achieves dreams and a life with limitless altitude

The Miracle of Mornings

Before you expose youself to the ineractions of the world
And consider the demands of your day

Fill your cup with what you need to face others
The love you give yourself is what your life will portray

When you arise say thank you for your breath
The God in you, your food, and second chances

Release you waste, energize your limbs, and smile
Greet your ears with music, light your body with dance

Filling your vessel and adoring yourself in the AM
Will invigorate your heart, mind, and self esteem

It provides an example for how others should treat you
And the positive effects last longer than caffeine

The art of shooting

I went skeet shooting today today for the first time. I was nervous, a little scared and overwhelmed. But I was committed to try and committed to learn. The instructor taught me the basics of shooting: Stablize your body weight, focus on the target, keep your eyes open, and don't change your strategy once you found your balance. Skeet shooting is no different than life. The same approach that you take to hit your target on the field is the same approach you should take to hit your dreams. So the next time you struggle to hit your target, stop reassess your position, crouch down in order to balance your weight, open your eyes, ask yourself if you are comfortable and wait for the right time to aim and fire. It maybe be a struggle in the beginning, but with practice, trial/error, patience and comfort in your own skin you will be able to make progress. Shooting just like life is an individual journey, people can give you tips, but you are in charge of puting everything in place.

Just like with any major decision in life, you must remain focused and figure out your own program. Listen to your gut instncts, you will know when you can hit the target before you shoot if you stay aligned with your goals and inner core

Gluten Free and Dating

Is this how vegetarians feel? Am I that different? Does what I eat affect you? What's really the deal?

These are questions I ask myself when I tell someone that I dating that I am gluten free. You would think that I just told them that I have some incurable illness, because after I tell them, there are a series of questions which usually result in confusion and frustration. The funny thing to me is that I know what I can and can't eat and for the most part, there is really no food spot that is off limits.....well maybe Pizza Hut, but even there I can at least get a salad. I have found that the men who want to resist gf, are guys I don't need and others that use it as a way to show me they care definitely get brownie points.

The guys that listen and try to help me will go out of their way to tell me about gf food locations. One suitor even took time to shop for gluten free snacks, which went a long way!!! What I have found is that it really isn't about the food it is about the basics of a relationship: communication, respect, giving, and expressions of love. Women tend to be the ones that are super considerate and go above and beyond to cater to their man, but it does feel good to be cared for by a man who takes a little bit of time to show he cares and takes time to go out of his way to make sure that he has planned something special for his lady.

Lesson Learned: Men who really care about you will take a little extra time to make sure you are comfortable, cared for and catered to. And although many think that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, I am here to tell you something a bit different: "The way to get on my good side is to tickle my tummy with tasty treats, and touch my heart with care and consideration"....So I guess I am rewriting the dating rules, The way to my heart is by learning to love my gf tummy

Gluten Free in the 21st Century

The best thing for anyone is knowledge.When you have knowledge you then can choose how to respond and my best friend is the Internet. No more do I have to wonder about food ingredients or allergens. Usually I am able to find the information that I need with a few strikes on the keyboard. I am empowered and that makes me stronger to make the best decisions in my life and better decisions allow me to live the life I want to live. A life where I am in control of how I feel. True I could cook at home and make sure that everything I eat has passed the gluten free test, but just like others I enjoy picking up fast food every now and then (by the way gluten free is a lifestyle it isn't a low calorie/low fat diet). I enjoy going out to dinner and enjoy being pampered.

So if there are others like me who at times have been afraid to eat, don't be. Take a little extra time to get a menu and look at the ingredients or if it is easier just google your resteraunt or food choice. The market is ready for us and has embraced gluten free with providing gf menus, sauce free dishes and educated workers.

Lesson Learned: What you seek is what you will likely find. Never just accept what you think is truth, dig a little bit deeper, ask questions, keep searching until you find the answers that you need. Life is really never about finding the right answer, it is about identifying the key questions in your life and taking the time to answer those questions with your own truth. Gluten free may have started off as a way to heal my body, but it has had a profound effect on my mind and personality. It has made me more inquisitive and has made me trust myself. There are many things I may not be able to control, but this is one thing I can manage.

Gluten Free Holiday

I had written off macaroni and cheese, gravy, cornbread, sweet potatoe pie, and pound cake once I became gluten free. I didn't think the food could taste the way my grandmother Claudia made it (my grandmommy was a GREAT cook) . She made "slap your momma" good food, the food that makes you race to the kitchen to get the "Last Plate"....I had written off my favorite foods because as much as I loved those foods they didn't love me back. Now I come from a long line of cooks, so I don't know why I would have thought they wouldn't come up with a solution to my gluten free diet. My sister and mother recreated my favorites, this time gluten free and I have been impressed by the food at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. With each holiday, they have perfected their gluten free dishes and have made me feel so specially loved. I didn't expect anyone to alter their recipes, but it goes to show how much they love me and want me to feel included. I would only hope that others would feel this lucky.

Lesson Learned: The lesson here is that in life you must do a little trial and error, sometimes things just work other times you have to tweak your ingredients and approach until you get the right combination.  In life, you can't use the same cookie cutter approach for all situations, you must customize your approach until you find the right mix. The other lesson is that those that truly love you will go out of their way to make you feel loved and included

Trust your gut...Trust your instincts

Trust your gut...Trust your instincts....What happens when your gut is telling you are sick but no one can help you. What happens when your instincts tell you that something is seriously wrong and all you hear is that "this" will pass its stress. Why don't doctors evaluate the basics: where you work, where you live and WHAT you eat. Why does it take someone to fight for the right to live. Well I am glad I trusted my gut because my gut gave me my life back.

I knew something was wrong but couldn't place my finger on it. I was tired and just didn't feel myself all the time. I would also get moody, but unlike the normal moody person I had really good days and really bad days and just couldn't understand why. I had been on a "search" for an answer for over 10 years now and then after googling, reading homeopathic books, and talking to others, I thought maybe I had a problem with processing wheat. I was clued in of my problem early on in college when I like so many others decided to try Atkins. I loved the energy I felt but when I went back to normal eating I would feel bad again. And then I had a life changing surgery and I refused to just continue to "get by in life" meaning I refused to just have enough energy to go to work and come home. I wanted more out of life. I started an elimination diet and I felt better and that is how I began my road to recovery.

One year after I eliminated gluten, I was diagnosed with sjogens syndrome, which is an autoimmune illness which attacks the moisture producing glands, to manage this illness it is recommended that gluten is removed from the diet. I had found my answer to living.

This is not a common ailment for African Americans, so I find many raised eye brows when I tell people what I battle, but instead of it being a curse it is my blessed condition. I know how to love myself by feeding myself the food it needs and I love that I know myself so well and I finally listened to my gut instincts.

Lesson Learned: The lesson in this post is that you must know your body, mind and soul and you must be your GREATEST advocate, doctor and supporter. Once you know your body, you can love your body and make decisions that benefit you and can lead to a more fufilling life.

Gluten Free Ordering

I am not high maintenance, rude of even critical
I trust those around me to do the best job that they can
But I also recognize people only tell you what they know
So I ask the same type of questions to strangers, friends or foes

Do you know if this dish is made with gluten or wheat?
Do you know if there is soy sauce in this dish?
Are there fillers in this soup, dressing, or sauce?
Failure to ask such questions will result in my personal loss

A loss of joy, feeling well, and being in control
My tummy would be as unpredictable as a volcano
A moment of passiveness could lead to a setback
And for a few days energy and wellness I would lack

I have learned it is not worth it to silently suffer
Many are eager to help if you are honest
And in the end the matter comes down to service
The effects of gluten and wheat are things I do not miss

The essence of gluten free is curiosity and education
Educating yourself on how to read food labels
And a curiosity to find safe recipes, restaurants, and stores
Realizing your health is worth that and so much more