When did vulnerability become a bad word

We live in a time where independence is synanomous with maturity
And to talk about or act on emotion has become a character flaw 
The lessons we teach others focus more on the mind than the heart
Emotionless living has given love an impossibly  hard start

It's okay to tell another they are needed, wanted and valued
Showing vulnerability doesn't make you less of an strong adult
It shows that you are human and capable of selfless giving
And if you ask me, people provide the motivation for living

It is good to know that you are capable of doing for yourself 
But when you find another that is open to help don't run 
For it is rare to find someone that gives unconditionally 
Who is open with time and shares his soul completely

I celebrate the journey

The truth of the matter is that I am single but only in the sense that I am not married
I am far from alone in this world, I am someone's sister, auntie, daughter, and friend
And in these defined roles I celebrate my important and needed role in this space
I accept my job with full intent offering support for whatever obstacle they may face

Along the journey the road may not have been easy, but I'm here for a key reason
And over time and with experience I have figured out the things I do very well
Sometimes I remind others of what is important or to urge them to laugh or play
To be disciplined with their words because your beliefs are shaped by what you say

We are never alone

I realize that being a friend sometimes means nothing more than being present
We think we must fix, help, heal and uplift, but really we just need to listen
The power of friends is that many times we are going through the same thing
And somehow knowing someone is in the same boat, helps lessen the sting 

We portray that everything is in order; but humility is the start of compassion
And through the commonality of true feelings, you extend the grace of friendship
Today a good friend shared that organization sometimes falls last for her too
After talking to her I didn't feel as bad about the chores that I also forget to do

Two Sermons for One

Today was a good day, full of many life lessons and inspiration. This morning I learned the importance of taking time for yourself, I cooked before church and took extra time to feel GREAT in the skin I am in. Church was great and it addressed self-centered Christianity. Many churchgoers look at what a church can do for them, versus really thinking what they can do for the church. Church is not about being entertained but really about showing and sharing Gods grace to others who are too lost to see his presence and love. Religion is not really about what you can't do, but is more about what you should do for your fellow man.

I enjoyed church and then walked outside and was blessed by a story I heard. It was about a man that was a victim of a petty robbery. He went to vote and received a phone call from the police saying that the policeman had his bag. The man didn't believe it because he assumed his bags were in the car, when he turned around to see, he realized he had been robbed and two bags were missing.  In this day in age, where we all have automatic locks, I wondered how they broke into his car without any visible signs. He later said the robbers popped the lock. The crazy thing is that he didn't realize that something had been taken from him until he received the phone call, up to that point he didn't even realized anything was missing. He went to get the first bag and wanted to thank the person who found his bag. Turns out it was a minister that is opening up a church, ironically he lived in the same subdivision as the man. The minister was able to locate him because he found the man's phone number and a church bulletin.

A few days later he received another phone call from a good Samaritan who said that his other bag had been found. This time the bag was found by a great couple who were from Rome GA. They were great people who were happy to help.

Lesson: So many times in life we stress about things lost either from negligence or things taken, but God sees and know all and in his divine way will fix any situation IF we give him the power to do so. Obviously the churchgoer who told me this story was a believer but what I appreciated was the second lesson in this. Which is when you have done all you can, you must release it and turn it over to God, because God will always straighten our path, even if we are not at fault. The man also went on to say the symbolism of bags or baggage, and said much of what was "taken" were things that he needed to deal with and move on but that he allowed to carry because he wasn't ready to let them go and after being robbed he was forced to let them go because they were no longer in his possession. In life we carry so many things around explaining their significance to others, when in reality Gods wants us to drop the baggage and open our eyes to his glory and his presence.

God is always present and is always teaching and I am BLESSED that I heard this story today, so I received multiple sermons this morning

True Religion

True Religion is not only about the doctrine you beleive
Its where you choose to invest the majority of your time
We all must go through stages of growth and change
In order to embrace the authenitc person that lives inside

Your loyality and committments show who you are
More than any affirmation or introduction you say
And when you are living your divine life, full of love
Then your spirit shines brighter than any sun ray

True Religion is the one that other see, not one you preach

The Power of People and Emotions

When we only focus on our problems, we ignore the life lesson God tries to show us
All life experiences have been orchestrated to train our hearts and minds in his way

Stifling thoughts, negative feelings and fears block our spirits from God's reach
So he sends people to show us the key lessons we wouldn't allow him to teach

Behaviors you see in others that ignite a strong response, are things you should fix
Your reponse to criticism and complaining are mirrors into your own development

If we are at peace with our lives, we wouldn't be affected by what others say or do
So If you didn't see your insecurities in others, those things would really bother you 

These feelings provide windows into our soul so we know how to begin change
When we judge others, we really are judging our peronal choices and decisions

God says he who is without sin, should cast the first stone; but we all have wrong 
Failure to connect external stress to internal turmoil, repeats our same sad song

If we don't learn our lesson the first time, we continue to hit our head on the wall
Self suffering is not about life's experience, it is the waivering stance in our response

After God tries to speak to you in prayer and meditation, he often turns to love ones
Hoping that if they show us what needs to be change, his divine work will be done

Recent Conversations--A few of my favorite things

Yesterday I was out ordering my food at a great treasure in Atlanta, Food For Life. As I ordered I asked all the key questions: Do you have a gluten free menu? Do you know if there is wheat/gluten in this dish etc. At the end of my questioning I decided on the whiting with cabbage. When the cabbage was delivered there was some sauce on the dish, and when i asked i found out I couldn't eat it. I appreciated the servers patience and willingness to work hard to get it right. After getting a plate of cabbage without the sauce, the woman next to me asked me what was going on and I filled her in. It turns out that she is gluten sensitive so we had a long conversation about food, ordering and "safe" places to eat in Atlanta. It made me think that I need to start keeping track of all of my fav spots:

1. R. Thomas (Great healthy eating with a great supportive staff)
2. 5 Seasons (they offer a gluten free menu that has gluten free beer)
3. Maggionos (they offer a gluten free menu)
4. PF Cheng (gluten free menu)
5. Lime (gluten free friendly, the staff is never knowledgeable)
6. L'Thai Organic (gluten free smart)
7. Goodness Grocery (This is a gem of a grocery store and they offer hot food that is GREAT for gluten free diners)
8. Seasons 52 (gluten free menu)
9. Sally's Bakery (gluten free bakery)
10. Cafe Sunflower (gluten free and healthy)
11. No Mas (gluten free menu)
12. Fresh to Order (gluten free menu)
13. Chipotle (gluten free trained)
14. Cinco (gluten free menu)

The Lesson of Life

Life is about summarizing all of the good feelings and the highlights

Thinking about those who have built up your spirit and gave you joy

Reminiscing about great birthdays, holidays and life’s many first

Examining life in totality and focusing only on your best never the worst

No one remembers all of the “big emergencies” that occurred and work

Or the person that you set your eyes on who didn’t care the same for you

All the frustration spent on unrequited love, fades away with true love

And earthly drama is forgotten when you transcend to the heavens above

So instead of fighting to keep a person, job, home, or thing in your life

Become comfortable with less; thrive by depending on only necessities

Downsize material things in order to embrace authenticity and peace

In life we never can keep anything, all possessions are really on lease  

The power of perception: "I am free to be me"

What if you accepted that there are no bad days, just opportunities to grow

Times where you may have to humble yourself enough to ask & accept help

A chance to expand your dreams and question the things you think you know

An appointed time to cherish your love ones and strengthen emotional bonds

Setbacks don’t exist, its just God proactively fixing your crooked way

Once you see your destiny, he won’t allow you to settle for a poor reality

We have been trained to wish for tomorrow, ignoring the sadness of today

It is easier for people to take the path of least resistance; then live in truth

The secret of happiness is not making right decisions, it’s your perception

Your ability to focus on the brightside of things, staying an eternal optimist

When people lie to you, celebrate that now you know the signs deception

If people leave you suddenly, rejoice that there is now more space for love

As you look at your own life you have to use this same type of mirror

Seeing the sum total of your experiences greater than the individual parts

Always embracing each experience as a lesson never an unfixable error

Change your perception and you free your mind to accept all possibilities

The possibility that life can be wonderful and you can totally be yourself

Begin to see yourself as an example of truth, and you walk into success

Walk out of your Comfort Zone into your Destiny

We all have our comfort zone

Actions that make us who we are

Some enhance our spiritual health

Others can erase our internal glow

But you don’t know what is right

Until you step away from it all

Ask yourself if you are happy

And overall content with your life

You must also look at decisions

As you ponder all your actions

Address fundamental beliefs

In order to decipher the reasons

It’s hard to label actions constructive

When your comfort zone protects

When routine stifles joy and growth

Your patterns become destructive

I am learning to keep the core

But conquering the fear of change

Loving my past and present self

As I prepare my life for more

Who Am I...Better Yet Whose Am I

Who Am I…hmm that question is not that important or key

The question is Whose Am I since that means more to me

Without the foundation of knowing I was created for more

I don’t think I would try b/c I wouldn’t believe I could soar

When I was created there was a passion placed in my heart

I have known that I am creative and an author from the start

When I tried to run from my calling the dream was still there

I felt a burden in my soul, an intense feeling I could barely bear

Passion and peace came only when I finally surrendered

And realized that a purpose filled life is full of joy and splendor

And now when I analyze life's key question of “Who Am I”
I can be honest with myself and no longer feel the need to lie

The rat race can never compare to living the life God created

Doing anything but creative writing feels stale and outdated

So now when things happen I feel comfortable with my response

Because i am centered and committed to my creative Renaissance  

My name and My life

My life is just as unique, different and special as my name

You may meet another JT, but we will not be the same

For I was raised to be a survivor, to preserve and succeed

A favor filled no excuse approach is usually how I try to lead

Sometimes I may fall short and loose my direction and sight

But even when I do, I work to remain optimistic with all my might

I have more than enough examples of how giants rose from sand

And because of that I keep an uplifting attitude of “Yes I can”

If I don’t believe in myself than whom will really believe in me

I must believe in all miracles especially those not visible to see

I have learned that your thoughts are the foundations for decisions

And from those choices you turn daydreams into manifested visions

So my message is not meant to preach another farfetched lesson

It meant to tell my story, so my life can be used as a blessing

The kind of friend

I am reminded daily that I have a good set of friends
The kind of friends that will sacrifice personal fun
The kind of friends that will stay up to wipe tears
The kinds of friends who encourage me despite fears

I am reminded at every birthday party, funeral or visit
That I didn't choose these people we chose each other
We share the same song, and move to the same beat
They remain #1 regardless of other people you meet

These friends share the right advice at the right time
Showering love and kindness with a bit of harshness
They push when needed and pull apart the fibers of lies
Always encourage me to succeed no matter what I try

They take up for me when I only see a list of my faults
They hold my hand when I face any health concern
The are the first to show up with hugs and last to leave
They know how to treat me b/c they know my pet peeves

Most importantly they are honest even if it may hurt
B/c they know that  truth expresses pure stability 
When you love someone you accept what they say
Real friends never leave, they are committed to stay

These are the kind of friends that can read your emotions
Even when you have not uttered one word or sound
They know your heart better than your closest lover
And know more secrets than your sister or mother

These kind of friends surpass the basic title of friend
For a bond like this can not be trivialized by a label
You have this kind of friend when you are never alone
Even if you have'nt  seen or talked recently on the phone

These kind of friends are carried closely in your heart
Housed in memories too grand to document in photos
Always praying that you see that inner light that glows
And that others see the great friend they know

Like I said I am blessed to have a sacrificial type of friend
Who nurtures my relationship like a well cared for plant
Waters the roots of our friendship with compassion and care
Never discolosing any of the secrets we often share

I don't know where I would be if they were not in my life
I'm not sure how I would have recovered from the setbacks
These friends have carried me when I could barely walk
They helped me think when I could barely think or talk

And as I sit here reflecting on the calm after the storm
I am reminded that they reassured me it would get better
I recall the dinners, calls, hugs, letters and borrowed books
The sweet notes, encouraging lunches yet hopeful looks

Hope because they have traveled down this road before
And now stand on the other side of accomplishment
And it makes you think that these friends are really angels
Sent by God to show his love and remind you that he is able

What I know for sure..Reflections of Love

I enjoy hearing about a true love story complete with chivalry, romance, and a endearing fairy tale
It restores my hearts dream to be swept away by a god fearing, masculine, and very witty male

What I know for sure is that I have been shown the true face of love in many different forms
I have witnessed how a man cherishs a woman, acts foreign to others, are my everyday norm

For example, I continue to listen to the many great stories my friends constantly share with me 
Whether it is nursing them back to health, cheering them up, i know this is the way love should be

I have no problem with being the chief nurturer, caregiver, lover and most importantly friend
But I want to be sure the love i give to him will be reciprocated in the love that he sends

What I know for sure is that it is my innate quality is to solve problems, to give, and always share
The only thing I want to be sure of is that when he thinks of me that he really does care

Cares how my day went, and if i am upset or disturbed works to try to put a smile on my face
Someone who prays, spiritual, is a believer in miracles, favor, forgiveness and Gods' Grace

Life is not about trials and errors, it is about trying new things in order to learn and evolve
Its about identifying hurdles in your path that you proactively analyze and work to solve

Its about using your time wisely which should never be used to lament or focus on the past
It’s about concentrating your time, talents and fortune on those special things that will last

In the face of uncertainty, mirage of unknowns and a sea of new opportunities and things
I want to discover my passions and identify those unique people that make my heart sing

I have seen glimpses of what I want forever to look like and I truly believe that I am ready to recieve it
I don't have an idea of the who, but I totally know what I want to feel when I finally recieve my gift

Every experience that I have lived through, survived, and conquered has stretched my ability to grow
And growth can not occur unless you let go of past decisions and people, these are the things that i know

Through all of my disappointments and heartaches I know that God is preparing an even bigger prize
He is pruning my character so I never again settle for the wooden nickels, unrealistic stories and lies

And through all of life's experience, the biggest blessing is that he never made my heart or hope waiver
When I receive the love of my life I will finally not doubt every moment, but sit back and savor

How to Change

Sometimes the biggest thing between what you have and want is change

Change in attitude, Change in your usage of time, and Change in behavior

They say it takes 21 days to adopt a new habit, routine, or a better way

To eat better, exercise, live with faith and watch the words you say

When you pray or speak to God, often times we lean down to kneel

Giving yourself to him, allowing God to control your mind and spirit

A physical example of relinquishing your power and giving it to the one 

The one who specializes in change regardless of what you have done

The decisions you wish you could correct and redo the experience

The people you have hurt through carelessness, selfishness or by accident

The time lost why you sabotaged happiness thinking you didn’t deserve it

The self criticism used to punish, the excessive drinks consumed to forget 

But there is a fairy tale that can be written at the end of your nightmare

There is a God who specializes in the change business and transformations

If you rely more on him and his blessings instead of what you have done

You can become the person God created; the changed resurrected one

The person that is an extension of authentic spirit, aura, essence and love

The person that is allowed to feel, express, live, apologize and move on

It may start with one phone call you never thought you could make

It may end with that trip or class you never thought that you could take

The miracle of life is that it is powerfully cyclical, not linear in nature  

So as much as we force ourselves to stick to an inflexible rigid mindset

Don’t; finally let all limitations and preconceived notions about life go 

You will see better opportunities once you let your internal energies flow

The inspirational and giving spirit that touches your heart creating fullness

The laughter that comes from a place of true joy, humor and humility

The energy that comes from nature that once nurtured creates self power

The dedication to fully blossom growing from a bud to a beautiful flower

Dreaming of change is no different than playing house or restless sleep

Role playing or meaningless actions never yield different results

Seeking change is not enough, Change plus action leads to fulfillment

Paralysis of Analysis is the biggest road to telling yourself you can’t

By the time you think through all of the possible ways you could fail

You ignore the potential of success, your self confidence shattered  

The moment could pass; the opportunity may not be available tomorrow

And then instead of peace you are filled with regrets, guilt and sorrow

So today I admit my faults however I am taking small steps to at least try

Confessing what I want and then turning my dreams into actionable tasks

Doing something even small is better than procrastinating or wishing I had

When I look at my life, I want to say I lived it, feel content and totally glad 

Process of Elimination

I didn't know what I was missing until I had the courage finally stop and walk away
Ignoring naysayers that keep talking even though they really have nothing to say

People will call me picky, too rigid, accusing me of having my head up in the sky
If people don't understand me thats fine, instead of convincing I will just say good by

I am an example of how the process of elimination restored my healthy and mind
Because it worked for my diet, why wouldn't I think a special man is possible to find

By listening to my gut, trusting my instinct and analyzing the lasting effects of food
I was able to heal my body, restore my energy, find my muse and improve my mood

Going gluten free gave me a zest for life and a passion to live a purposed driven life
I am selective about everything I put in my body; things may taste good but cause strife

I have learned that temporary satisfaction can lead to lasting pain, damage, and discomfort
And until you do a process of elimination you won't be able to identify those things that hurt

Slick Men that only warm you with compliments so they can receive instant gratification
Damaging processed foods that feel good going in, but lack to provide nutritional satisfaction

In order for me to understand the cause of my sickness, and unpredictable tummy
I had to log my food, document my feelings, and track when I felt really good or totally yucky

Just like I had to take the time to figure out the foods that I can not eat and those I can
I have decided to deploy that same process of elimination as I search to identify JT's man

I will think about past dates and how each man treated me and how they made me feel
I will log the lasting effects of all relationships to see if these men can really seal the deal

If they can't provide my heart, body and mind with complete fufillment and wholeness
They will be eliminated just like gluten; my tummy taught my heart to only accept the best

Love and Compatibility

Looks may attract you, Compatibility makes you want to stay
Love makes you work hard and also makes you not stray

I have loved a few but recognize we were not a real match
Dated them longer because others thought they were a catch

When people walk out your life it is okay to mourn a loss
But not okay to sit back and count you and all of their flaws

For it is not about what didn't work when they were with you
Realizing you didn't want them despite the things they do

In life, hopefully you will be blessed with a life you want to live
A man who deserves your all and is open to receive and give

Along with love you need compatibility and the magic IT factor
The thing that makes your toes curl and your emotions soar

You need the stars to be aligned and God to bless your union
To balance the work and committment, love has to be fun

A good marriage is defined as a man that is happy to come home
A man that would choose his wife and family over time spent alone 

Many times falling in love is not about the person that we date
Its about another's ability to love us and accept us in our current state

The person that is transforming but not yet the person we may grow to be
The person who works to become the image they want the masses to see

If you can love someone's purest essence in spite of the glitz and glam
They will know you love them; not their job, salary, credentials or fame

Compatibility is sitting on a park bench sharing thoughts and a snack
Appreciating who they are, and never concentrating on what they lack

Love is about committing your heart to the creation of somthing bigger
Beleiving your love WILL LAST despite the negative facts and figures

If you mix compatibility, respect, God's grace, beauty, forgivenss and trust
You will have your best friend, a lasting love,a marriage that makes you lust

The art of change

Don’t change because others have progressed and you have not

Don’t change because someone else requests you to be different

Don’t change because you want more money or desire fame

Change because your soul cries out and refuses to be the same

You know when a change is coming when your mind races

When you have more questions than you have answers

When ordinary seems to imprison the freedom of choice

And when the inner spirit screams louder than your voice

When this happens find comfort in your journey for truth

Don’t rush to identify with a new person, job, or behavior

Rather than identifying a solution, identify the cause of unrest

Work at being your honest self; forget trying to be the best

Books have been written to explain various success theories

Articles continue to portray pivotal moments of change

Real change can’t be taught, it is a personal discovery

As you seek emotional freedom from mental slavery 

The inherited slavery of expectations and others wishes

The personal bondage of fear of the unknown and failure

The oppression of childish acts, old images and roles

The repression of growth, dreams, hopes and goals

As you seek a personal change you must address beliefs

Generational values deeply rooted in all your decisions

You must ask yourself how you ended up in this place

And why making the best decision seemed too much to face

Time is irrelevant to this process, there is no set timeline

Change only begins when you come to a few conclusions

When your frustration outweighs the fear of the unknown

And when living with purpose is skill you finally begin to hone 

 

The myth of texting

Texting is not the issue; it’s when it replaces communication

Without emotion or voice inflection, words lack sensation

It doesn’t give you a context of one thoughts or true feelings

And minimizes the connection between two human beings

Texting is easy when you don’t have time or fear rejection

But when it becomes routine, you sacrifice real affection

The easy road when dating is never the path you want to take

Purposeful dating requires work; an investment I will MAKE

I never want to wonder if you are alone or in a crowded place

Or that you forgot about me and just sent me something in haste

I never want to feel like I can’t get your undivided attention

Or feel like you don’t treat me with respect or consideration

When I told you what I needed I never mentioned money

Emotional stability is a must, and you must be funny

But my main request is that I wanted us to really talk

Not so I can keep tabs on you or so I can later stalk

I want to hear your voice and establish a comfort zone

Seeing you in person is most ideal, but also over the phone

I won’t settle for a piece of a relationship, I want the entire pie

And I never want to feel like our romantic bond is a complete lie